


Upon Reevalutation

by sultrysweet_tumblr (sultrysweet)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Friendship, Maiden Queen, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2015-09-12
Packaged: 2018-04-20 12:18:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4786979
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sultrysweet/pseuds/sultrysweet_tumblr
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Regina thinks being soulmates means something. Marian thinks she has a second chance. Both initially think Robin is the one they want, but upon reevaluation they start to see things differently.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A Marian/Regina fic I started a while back for Maiden Queen Weekend. Takes place in season 4 and Zelena is definitely not Marian in this story. The rating might also change later.

It was odd. She never expected to have to do such a thing in her life, never thought she was capable of it after a certain point, but there she was with Marian’s heart in her hand. Literally. Robin watched from a few short steps away with a look of almost pained concern. Her boyfriend, Marian’s husband, waited to be reunited—again—with his wife while his mistress had the honor of saving her.

Regina tried not to think about any of that and instead focused on what she needed to do. She plunged Marian’s heart back into the woman’s thawed out body and watched with rapt attention and mixed feelings as she took her first breath—a gasp—since she’d collapsed in the Mayor’s office the prior week. For some reason—not that she hadn’t returned someone’s heart to their chest before, although it wasn’t often she had done so—it sent tingles down her spine to witness someone’s revival.

Marian’s chest heaved and her eyes popped open, extremely wide and surprised. She surged forward and sat up on the bed that had been her temporary home since Regina had removed her heart to stop the Snow Queen’s magic from freezing her over beyond saving. The caramel-toned woman looked immediately at Regina and took a few hurried breaths and wore an expression of both confusion and wonder before she turned to Robin. She shot off the bed and swiftly met him halfway between the bed and where he stood watching. They crashed into each other in a warm hug, both happy to see the other alive and well again, but when Robin turned them so Marian’s back was to her she saw the indecision and discomfort on his face.

Regina wasn’t sure who she wanted him to pick at that point. Selfishly she hoped it would be her because no one—aside from Daniel—had ever truly picked her. Not her mother, not Rumpelstiltskin—not really anyway, he just picked her because she wasn’t in love with him and wouldn’t defeat the purpose of his curse—no one had picked her for anything. But if Robin picked her, especially even with his wife back in his life, it would mean something to her. It would, it  _should_ , mean a whole hell of a lot. While she considered that option, there was, interestingly enough, a small voice in the back of her head that told her he should and most likely would pick his wife. Who didn’t pick their wife? They had a second chance to be together. At least from Robin’s perspective. He’d lost Marian once, but she was there again. She was in his arms again and he had his whole family together again. She would have given anything to be with Daniel again. She’d done everything she could to bring him back and almost didn’t let him go when Whale finally managed to bring him to life, even though he wasn’t right. Daniel wasn’t the same, wasn’t  _her_ Daniel. Except when he begged her to let him go, let him go because he was in so much pain and all he wanted was for it to stop.

Regina took a deep breath, looked away from the couple, and quickly fled a few seconds later.

* * *

She should have expected it, but she was still shocked he chose Marian over her. It was the obvious choice. She just had such high hopes her supposed  _soulmate_ would have picked her above all else, especially given the things he’d gone through that had changed him from the man Marian once knew. She at least assumed he was different, because she knew that she had changed drastically from the girl she used to be before Daniel’s death, before magic, before The Evil Queen.

Emma had been pestering her ever since then, too. As if it wasn’t enough that she had to deal with the loss of her soulmate to his returned, formerly dead wife, the blonde who was responsible for her presence wanted to be her friend and make amends. She never apologized for bringing Marian to Storybrooke and never would, and Regina supposed that was fine because it made sense for more reasons than: Emma Swan is the Savior and that’s what Saviors should do. Savior or not, it was who Emma was. The person who chose to do the right thing. Regina actually kind of admired that, but under no circumstances would she ever admit that out loud.

For the past few days, Emma tried again and again to talk to her and offer her help with whatever she might need. It was a little grating for the woman to always been around, especially in her lowest moments, so when she felt someone walk behind her in the diner and take a seat in the stool next to her she just assumed it was Emma yet again with her horrible yet impeccable timing.

“Please,” Regina slowly said in a low voice, a little irritated but mostly sad. “I’d rather be alone.”

“I thought we should talk.”

Regina immediately tensed and turned her head to see that the voice she heard was in fact  _not_ Emma. The woman next to her was Marian and it appeared there was a smile on her face directed right at Regina. They weren’t friends. They would probably never be friends, so why did Marian smile?

Regina tried to take a deep breath, her lips parted as her jaw hung open in shock that she had just been so quickly dismissive to the woman whose husband she’d slept with.

“Thank you for saving my life,” Marian continued. “Twice, actually.”

Regina licked her lips and tried to be personable.

“Forget about it.”

“I can’t,” Marian practically sighed while she shifted on the stool and averted her eyes. “Every time I close my eyes, I see yours. The way you looked at me after you returned my heart. It’s curious.”

“Oh. I…” Regina eventually blew out a sigh as she struggled to come up with the right words to explain herself.

“And then there’s Robin. He doesn’t look at me the same way he used to…because now he looks at you as well. Sometimes he looks at you like he used to look at me.”

“I’m sorry,” Regina immediately responded, though she wasn’t quite sure why because she wasn’t really an apologetic person. There were only two people she’d ever apologized to and they were Henry and Emma, and then there was that time when Snow had to cast the Dark Curse using Charming’s heart and the pain the woman felt made Regina truly sympathetic because she knew what it was like to do such a thing.

Marian shook her head.

“It’s not exactly your fault, is it? You two were becoming close before I got here. That time can’t be forgotten just because I’m here now. It still happened.”

Regina nodded and looked down at the counter.

“Normally, I’d fight you on this, especially given your past and  _our_ history, but…I don’t want to compete with you. Robin has clearly moved on and I want him to be happy. I also want  _me_ to be happy and I can’t be when I’m with someone out of obligation.”

Regina looked over at Marian again.

“He may say he’s chosen me, but it’s clear who he would rather be with,” Marian added. “I believe he wants to see where things can go with you, because he’s already made his peace with me being gone. Apparently, he thought I was dead and it’s been several years since he lost me.”

“Yes,” Regina hoarsely confirmed. “I… That was my fault, but I’m sure you already knew that.”

“Well, I’m alive. Still. Thanks to Emma. Because of that I don’t think you ever actually killed me then. According to your knowledge and your past, you did, but not to mine.”

“I think this is usually the part when normal people ask if they can ever be forgiven. I don’t want to ask,” Regina confessed.

“You don’t have to ask.” Marian reached over and rested a hand on top of Regina’s on the counter. “I forgive you.”

“Wha- Why?”

“Because you may have tried to kill me, and you may have even been successful at one point in time in an alternate universe, but you saved me. You gave me life again instead of taking it away from me.” Marian shook her head and smiled before she added, “All that matters is that you kept me alive and allowed me the chance to watch Roland grow. That is all I need.”

Regina looked down at Marian’s hand as she continued to rest it on top of hers. It was as curious as Marian made it sound about the way she looked at the woman when returning her heart.

“As far as Robin and I, there seems to be no question about it. If his heart leads him to me, fine. But if it does what I suspect and leads to you, I will step out of the way. I want to be chosen. If he says he chooses me, but pines after you or what could have been than he hasn’t really chosen me. I don’t want to live a lie. I want to be loved. Loved with a passion and feel a spark and a connection, and to be loved with someone’s whole heart and soul.”

Regina had heard those words—though maybe not in the same context—somewhere before, but in that moment she couldn’t quite place them.

“He might not have truly made up his mind yet, but I’ve made up mine. I choose myself. I will not wait around until he has decided on one of us. I don’t want to wait to be happy and I do not want to rely on him to make me happy.”

Regina blinked a few times, thoroughly impressed with the woman beside her.

Marian retracted her hand from Regina’s and smiled at her again before she stood up.

“I’ll see you around, Regina.”

Marian walked off and left Regina to her thoughts, many more thoughts  _after_  their conversation than she’d had before the other woman sat down next to her.


	2. Chapter 2

It wasn’t long after their firstand only talk that Regina saw Marian again. The two of them were at the parkwith Robin and Roland. Marian was at Roland’s side as the boy fed the ducks in the pond and Regina sat with Robin and watched. It was a wonderful little family outing and the only reason she had been invited was because Roland liked her and wanted to see her again. Marian agreed to the additional company in almost an instant.

The woman didn’t seem to mind her presence at all and at first Regina suspected it was because Marian thought Robin had already, or was soon going to, choose the girlfriend instead of the wife. When she noticed Marian look over at her and Robin, she caught the woman’s gaze before she was thrown a flash of a smile. A little while later, the next time Marian looked back at her, the woman’s gaze wandered over her body. It was the briefest of moments when Marian looked her over from head to toe, but it had happened. It caught Regina off guard and she wasn’t sure what to make of it, but only before she was completely thrown by what Robin said to her as they continued to watch mother and son play together.

“I want to be with you. Regina, I choose you.”

Regina scoffed and let out a little chuckle while she shook her head.

“No. You can’t be serious,” she said, so sure of herself and that he hadn’t actually meant what he said.

“I do.” He was as confident in his choice as Regina was in the fact that he didn’t really want her.

Regina pulled away from Robin while the man smiled at her like it was the happiest news either one of them could have heard or admitted. And it should have been. It really should have been.

But she didn’t feel like she thought she would have. She didn’t like what she’d heard at all. Marian was right there. Marian should have been his whole world aside from their son. Robin shouldn’t have chosen her. Even she wouldn’t have done that if she had been in his position. Soulmates or not, if Daniel had come back to her as he once was—like Marian had come back—she would have given up everything to be with him. She would have chosen Daniel over Robin so long as her beloved stable boy still wanted her and also accepted her, flaws and all since they’d last been together.

Regina frowned and shook her head as she looked from Robin to his family.

“I can’t,” Regina confessed a second after her eyes landed on Marian.

When Marian looked back at the two of them again, Regina bolted from the park bench and ran off yet again when faced with the couple who should have been able to take and enjoy their second chance at a happy ending together.

* * *

Regina was a woman obsessed, frantic in her search for The Author. Operation Mongoose was no longer between her and Henry. Emma was involved after the two of them had attempted to knock back a few shots and Henry interrupted them to bring them to The Author’s house. The three of them had looked around at a room full of empty story books and Emma wanted to help as soon as she found out what she and Henry had been up to lately.

While on the hunt for the person who could write Regina her happy ending after all of her pain and suffering, Emma came up with a way to reduce stress and tension. It had been weeks and they still had no idea who the author was or where they were. They knew nothing and Regina was getting antsy. So Emma decided to make a list with her.

“What are you looking for,” Emma asked.

“What do you mean? I’m looking for the author!”

Emma laughed and shook her head. “No, what kind of happy ending do you want this author person to write you when we find them? What do you want out of your life specifically?”

“Oh. Well, I suppose love. Friendship.”

“Okay. Let’s start with love. You’ve already got Henry’s. What other kind of love do you want?”

Regina gave it a little thought before she answered, “I want someone who wants and supports me. I want someone who offers to be there when I need them and backs off when I’d rather be alone. I want someone who’s as strong-willed and determined as I am and someone who isn’t willing to compromise. Someone who wants to be loved as hard as they love. Soft yet intense. Smiles plenty of times but isn’t unburdened. And obviously someone who loves Henry as much as I do.”

Emma smiled and scribbled it all down in a small notebook.

“We’ll give this to the author when we find them. Or at least we’ll have it as a reference for them. We don’t necessarily have to hand it over.”

Regina nodded in agreement and was actually really thankful Emma pushed just hard enough for them to be friends. It meant a lot to have someone she liked and trusted and was willing to give up a lot of free time to help her out, because she really needed all the help she could to find the author and have her happy ending written once and for all.

* * *

A few days after Regina had made a list of happy ending expectations with Emma, she ran into Marian at the grocery store. Roland was seated in a cart as she pushed it around from aisle to aisle with a furrowed brow that scrunched further and further the longer she was in the store.

Regina stared at her for a while and observed. She observed too long, however, when Marian looked up and finally noticed her. Regina froze like a deer in headlights and hoped, even as they made eye contact, that Marian hadn’t seen her. She wanted to disappear from the woman’s sight or at least to be deemed unimportant so Marian would just look for a few more second and then move on.

“Regina?”

Apparently, no matter how much she changed, Regina’s wishes—even small ones—would never be granted.

Marian pushed her cart, and Roland, over to Regina. The boy only noticed her when he heard his mother say her name.

“Hi,” Regina greeted both of them.

“Regina!” Roland threw his hands up with a big smile on his face. He squirmed around in the seat and bounced like he wanted out of it.

Regina couldn’t help but beam at him. He reminded her of Henry at his age so of course, that also meant that she understood that Roland did want out of the cart. She placed her hands under his arms and lifted him then brought him to rest on her hip. He hugged her, his arms wrapped around her neck, and she smiled for another moment before she looked to Marian for approval.

A soft, subtle smile graced Marian’s features as she looked the two of them over.

“He really likes you,” Marian said.

“I like him, too,” Regina admitted with a flash of another smile. “Is it okay for me to carry him?”

“Go ahead. I have a feeling that even if I tried to pry him away from you he wouldn’t budge,” Marian directed her next big smile at Roland who smiled back, always so happy to be around his family that extended to include the Merry Men and Regina.

After a moment, Marian looked away from Roland and scanned the next couple of nearby aisles with confusion etched across her face.

“Do you need help,” Regina asked.

“Yes, actually,” Marian admitted a little nervously while she turned back to Regina. “I don’t really understand any of these modern foods yet. Could you help me get a few things off my list?”

Marian handed her a grocery list and after Regina looked over the first half of it, she chuckled. When she looked up, Marian frowned at her.

“I’m sorry,” Regina apologized with an amused smile. “You won’t really find any of these things here. There’s a lot of processed food and a lot less game.”

“Processed food?”

“Dear, do you even have a kitchen where you’re living?”

Marian shook her head then asked, “What’s that?”

“Let me help you get acclimated to this world a little and I’ll have you and Roland over for dinner tonight with Henry and I. I’ll even show you how meals are prepared with all the technologies the town has to offer.”


	3. Chapter 3

Roland rushed off with Henry and it sounded, at least to Regina while she worked in the kitchen, as though they were playing a superhero game that involved action figures and funny voices. She smiled at the sound and realized she wanted to hear it more often. Henry never usually had any friends over, hadn’t had any friends at all before he went off to New York with Emma, so to hear him play and have fun with Roland made her wish it was more of an everyday occurrence. Of course, that wasn’t really up to her.

Marian watched her for a while and tracked Regina with her eyes as she moved around from cabinet to cabinet grabbing all the things she needed to make her somewhat raved about lasagna. She figured it was the best place to start when teaching the woman how recipes were following and carried out with all the modern day advances the Land Without Magic had available.

Not too far into the preparations, Regina looked over at Marian and hesitated before she smiled at her.

“Would you like to try,” Regina asked.

Marian’s eyes widened in fear and she shook her head.

“No, thank you. I’ll just keep watching.”

Regina lightly chuckled.

“It isn’t too difficult. I’ll walk you through it.”

She gently grabbed Marian’s wrist and pulled the woman up to the counter where she had a pan set out with the uncooked noodles and meat, spaghetti sauce, and red pepper flakes. She positioned Marian just slightly in front of her and let go of the woman’s wrist. She looked Marian over, the other dark haired woman nervous and unsure, and reached out to show her a few things. As she gestured between the ingredients, she explained what Marian should do, but Marian didn’t do any of it. She stood still even after Regina had instructed her on the next couple of steps.

“Would you mind if I helped you,” Regina asked.

“I thought you already were.”

“Here,” Regina said as she gently grabbed both of Marian’s wrists and guided the woman’s hands to the ingredients one at a time. She directed both Marian’s hands and the ingredients she held to where they needed to be and the two of them worked together with only a few hiccups during their workflow.

After a few minutes, Regina accidentally brushed against Marian’s side and the woman’s breath hitched. For a moment, Regina tightened her grip around Marian’s wrists and slowed their pace as they continued to work in tandem to prepare the lasagna. It was an odd feeling to be that close to the woman and almost spark to life like she’d just woken up from a long, dull sleep. Sometimes Emma had made her feel that way, but she doubted the blonde felt the same. She also didn’t want to complicate anything with their situation because if they ever did date and then broke up, it would affect Henry more than either of them. She didn’t want to risk that.

Marian, on the other hand, was a beautiful woman willing to go after her own happy ending regardless of the life she used to have and thought she wanted. She was separated from Robin, although not legally because it was all still so fresh, and she already looked much happier than she’d been when she first arrived. To explore any of the electric feelings inside her for Marian wouldn’t complicate anything for Henry. She would have to explain to him how she was able to like a woman the way she liked Marian, but aside from that there would be no real problem. He’d already accepted the parts of her relationship with Robin that were less than stellar. There was no way falling for Marian could really screw that up past the point of fixing or understanding.

Marian turned her head just as they finished the last step before they were ready to put the pan in the oven and wait for it cook. Regina’s heart skipped a beat because Marian’s lips were parted and she looked like how Regina felt. There was a tension in the air and she knew right then as Marian’s eyes flicked up to lock onto hers that they both felt it.

Without another word or thought, both women leaned in and pressed their lips together in the softest kiss either had ever experienced. It was timid and chaste and over too quickly, but both women pulled away almost as soon as they’d made contact. They pretended it was out of fear that the children would walk in on something they couldn’t explain yet as they stepped away from each other and slid the pan into the oven, but really they had pulled away because they weren’t sure what they wanted or were doing.

Once the lasagna was in the oven, Regina cleared her throat and smoothed out her clothes even though they didn’t need to be fixed at all. Marian’s eyes darted from Regina to the floor to Regina to the floor over and over again as she pressed her fingers to her lips and slowly backed away a few more steps. Regina ran a hand through her hair and forced an overly polite smile.

“The lasagna will take some time so I’m going to my study for a drink. Would you like one?”

Marian shook her head and flashed a small smile that hardly hid how confused she appeared to have felt.

“I’m going to check on the boys,” Marian said.

“Okay. Good,” Regina nodded. “The oven will beep when the clock gets to zero. I’ll see you then.”

They hastily went in opposite directions as Regina fled to her study while Marian dashed off to the living room. Needless to say, dinner was awkward with limited conversation and eye contact from across the table that was broken as soon as it was made.


End file.
